Is This a Screenplay I See Before Me?

Sing like nobody's listening. Dance like nobody's watching. Write like everybody's illiterate.

Hey guys, today we have another Weekend Bonus Post, this time authored by celebrated screenwriting guru, and good friend, Kirby St. Vincent Gregorio. Take it away, Kirb!

FINDING YOUR VOICE IN SCREENWRITING

BY KIRBY ST. VINCENT GREGORIO

Hello and welcome to my home on the internet. Here is where I welcome beginning and experienced screenwriters to learn about how to find their voice. It can be downright discouraging to write screenplays nowadays and I am here to help you know what and how and when and if and where and why to write your screenplays.

Here is also where I use real world examples that I’ve encountered to illustrate pitfalls and challenges for writers. You will read ACTUAL REAL EXAMPLES of obstacles that writers had to overcome and apply this knowledge to your own TV Pilot/Screenplay/etc.

You may well be asking where I get off trying to teach screenwriting. Now many people will say they are “produced” or “rich” or “know Gary Sinise” or “live in the Hollywood Hills” or “watched every episode of Rizzoli and Isles,” but not everyone is a TEACHER. I am a born teacher, and instruction is my forte and my passion. You may have complaints and “issues” with me from time to time and may say “Kirby your advice is bad!” or “Kirby that doesn’t make any sense.” Or I think you might have inserted some recipe instructions from your other internet site “Kirby’s Cooking Fantasia” in the article on parentheticals.” But being unable to embrace FREE ADVICE is your own limitation. And here I am not about limitations but about LIMITLESS PASSION FOR SCREENWRITING. If you are very concerned with “common sense” and “solid instruction” and “not reading accidentally pasted tips about making popcorn” then maybe you should move along because here we talk about SCREENWRITING and try to embrace our greatness!

I am going to dive into an example that is very close to my heart and brain because it relates to a frequent problem I have right now which is late night phone calls about distress from having to read scripts about people in small boats battling shark attacks. Does everyone have this problem? It might be just an issue with our modern times, but I frequently have to say “I’m sorry I have to hang up – my husband is getting suspicious, and you are right an orca is not even a shark!”

Shark attack screenplays – there are so, so many! But you can make your shark attack movie your own and SUCCEED if you know the secrets. Do not let people say negative things to you like “how would someone be in the middle of the ocean on a standup paddleboard?” and “but why not just say dolphin with teeth?” THINK about your story. Is it unrelentingly suspenseful with a man on a very small watercraft and a shark/orca swimming beneath them in the deep blue ocean? HELP yourself succeed and think OUTSIDE THE BOX! Is it possible this is not a screenplay where “things happen and there is a story” but a beautiful IDEA about a man in a fiberglass kayak playing a clarinet while a shark/orca swims languidly deep in the ocean? You have DISCOVERED that this is an idea for a BEAUTIFUL painting you should create for your friends and family to enjoy and not have to trouble anyone else with your “screenplay idea." This is actually one image you want to SHARE with the world. Buy some oil paints and canvas and go to town, my friend! You have succeeded with your “screenplay” and you are on your way to a deep, peaceful night of sleep devoid of upsetting dreams of orcas coming at you. You will be back to using your jet ski in no time at all!