At least the "Star Wars" movies did the texting commentary coherently! I'm so glad I never saw this movie, it sounds horrible. Couldn't one of the scriptwriters, or the director maybe, have raised a hand and said, "Hello? I have no idea what's going on here..."
I’m totally confused. Your review is very funny, but I have no idea what this movie was about. I can only empathize with you, having to sit through it.
Can I just point out that, if everyone is sterile, why keep that secret? I'd be banging everything in sight and Goodchild would be my hero. I'd have a poster of him on my wall!
Not the "Joe Namath tossing to George Sauer in Super Bowl 3" kind. I mean the "Farrah Faucett in red one peice, nipple poking through like the top of a Hershey's kiss" kind.
“Gateway to the Salton Sea” reminds me of my favorite movie about a giant sea slug terrorizing humanity, "The Monster That Challenged the World." Unfortunately for the slug, it challenged the world to a game o pickleball, which it was very bad at, considering it had no appendages.
1. The cast. I mean Hans Conried and Casey Adams as the scientists? Chef's kiss.
2. It's "hero" is named Twillinger (very close to the name of Conried's character in The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T) and is played by the grumpy, dumpy, nepo baby Tim Holt, a former juvenile and Western star who's a bit past his Freshness Date by this point and seems to know it, since everything he's asked to do in the film CLEARLY ANNOYS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.
2. The utter and shameless grandiosity of the title. "The Monster That Challenged The World?" More like "The Caterpillar That Mildly Inconvenienced Coachella".
"Casey Adams" (aka Max Showalter, which I think is a much better name) was also the original Ward Cleaver, before Hugh Beaumont stole that plum role from him.
I'd forgotten that tidbit about Beaumont being a Ward Come Lately. And as for the name, Max agreed with you, since he switched back to Showalter as soon as the studio system collapsed.
Damn, Casey/Max was around long enough to be in "Sixteen Candles." Not to mention "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," which needs to have a Slumgullion review, if it hasn't already.
At least the "Star Wars" movies did the texting commentary coherently! I'm so glad I never saw this movie, it sounds horrible. Couldn't one of the scriptwriters, or the director maybe, have raised a hand and said, "Hello? I have no idea what's going on here..."
I’m totally confused. Your review is very funny, but I have no idea what this movie was about. I can only empathize with you, having to sit through it.
Thanks, Cheryl. Oddly, the excessive amounts of exposition in this film only seem to make it *more* confusing.
Can I just point out that, if everyone is sterile, why keep that secret? I'd be banging everything in sight and Goodchild would be my hero. I'd have a poster of him on my wall!
Not the "Joe Namath tossing to George Sauer in Super Bowl 3" kind. I mean the "Farrah Faucett in red one peice, nipple poking through like the top of a Hershey's kiss" kind.
ikr? That dude really knows how to bury the lede.
So if smegma is the residue of the male secretion, is Bregna the residue found in a bra cup?
I dunno, but I do know this: no way am I touching your nursing bra.
They're called "moobs," Scott. I don't nurse with them.
“Gateway to the Salton Sea” reminds me of my favorite movie about a giant sea slug terrorizing humanity, "The Monster That Challenged the World." Unfortunately for the slug, it challenged the world to a game o pickleball, which it was very bad at, considering it had no appendages.
I love three things about that movie:
1. The cast. I mean Hans Conried and Casey Adams as the scientists? Chef's kiss.
2. It's "hero" is named Twillinger (very close to the name of Conried's character in The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T) and is played by the grumpy, dumpy, nepo baby Tim Holt, a former juvenile and Western star who's a bit past his Freshness Date by this point and seems to know it, since everything he's asked to do in the film CLEARLY ANNOYS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM.
2. The utter and shameless grandiosity of the title. "The Monster That Challenged The World?" More like "The Caterpillar That Mildly Inconvenienced Coachella".
"Casey Adams" (aka Max Showalter, which I think is a much better name) was also the original Ward Cleaver, before Hugh Beaumont stole that plum role from him.
I'd forgotten that tidbit about Beaumont being a Ward Come Lately. And as for the name, Max agreed with you, since he switched back to Showalter as soon as the studio system collapsed.
Damn, Casey/Max was around long enough to be in "Sixteen Candles." Not to mention "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," which needs to have a Slumgullion review, if it hasn't already.
It hasn't had one yet, although I've been cautiously circling it for years, trying to screw my courage to the sticking post.