16 Comments
Aug 25Liked by Scott Clevenger

I got a free pass to an advance screening when this came out, but I still demanded my money back from the movie theatre

Expand full comment
Sep 2Liked by Scott Clevenger

What is truly amazing is that this entire movie was written, produced and filmed in the very same closet that John Travolta inhabits.

Expand full comment
Aug 31Liked by Scott Clevenger

I was waiting for the part where John Travolta gives birth (because you'd joke about it). Finally I realized I was confusing this movie with Enemy Mine!

I haven't seen either, and Travolta isn't in the latter. I guess I got confused because they both got bad reviews that I saw.

Expand full comment
author

Fortunately, Travolta does not reproduce in this. And if memory serves, it was Lou Gossett, Jr. who whelped an offspring in Enemy Mine.

Expand full comment
Aug 24Liked by Scott Clevenger

Oh, man. I've heard of this, of course, but never saw it. Thank you for taking one for the team.

(It can't be THAT hard to write a coherent plot! Can it?)

Expand full comment
author

Well, Hubbard eliminated all his body Thetans, but the joke was on him (and us) cuz it turns out they were the only part of him with writing talent.

Expand full comment

Does it make you feel better, Scott, that there exists a level of writing that, no matter how drunk I...I mean, you...might get, you'll never devolve to?

Expand full comment
author

Well I try not to get cocky, cuz you never know when there's a brain worm out there with your name on it.

Expand full comment

<<So basically, it’s Houston.>>

DAMN YOU SIR, HOGGING ALL THE BEST JOKES!

Do you know how hard you make my life????

Expand full comment

<<“Human Processing Center—Denver”>>

Been to DIA, can confirm.

Expand full comment
author

Still waiting for my luggage.

Expand full comment

<<“Man is an endangered species.”>>

*rosin bow*

*open toothpick box*

*play world's smallest violin*

Expand full comment
author

I mean I can't say we don't have that coming. We are, after all, the species that made Battlefield Earth.

Expand full comment

I understand that was on TeamOrca's 99 theses.

Expand full comment
Aug 25Liked by Scott Clevenger

TBH, if the rest were this bad TeamOrca should have called them 99 Feces

Expand full comment
author

The Orcas didn't intend to sink all those super-yachts, it was just an unfortunate side effect of nailing all those theses to all those hulls.

Expand full comment