I feel your pain. What incomprehensible garbage to have to watch. But I will never forget Gauls Gone Wild, and the other funny bits you were able to make from this horror.
Two snaps up for making lemonade out of this lemon.
"Moobs has got 'em on the RUN, that's why! Once he starts counter-rotating his tassels in perfect synchronization, they panic and run. Never fails. That's how we got off Omaha Beach."
This is actually a chilling story. Spinrad wrote the script, which was widely praised in its early incarnation, but the director insisted on revision after revision, and after things went tits up around Draft 14, Spinrad went back to his beloved Draft 3 and novelized it. Believe me, I understand the impulse...
Now you're going to make me think about Christopher Lambert being skeletonized by carnivorous fish, screaming in that weird Swiss accent of his as the water boils with savagery and blood and I really wish you hadn't, Carl, because that's the kind of fantasy a guy could just kick back and spend all day on, and I've got errands to run.
I feel your pain. What incomprehensible garbage to have to watch. But I will never forget Gauls Gone Wild, and the other funny bits you were able to make from this horror.
Two snaps up for making lemonade out of this lemon.
Considering how his father died, this sounds more like one of those seven generational curses.
That's right: Great-great-great-great-grandpa took Rula Lenska's name in vain.
"Also, I learned that toplessness is an effective counter-siege tactic"
Clearly, you've never watched "The Battle of the Bulge".
No, but I was a big fan of the old comic from the 60s, Sgt. Rock and His Fighting FUPAs.
"Corporal Moobs! Take point!"
"Why ain't the Krauts shooting back, Sarge?"
"Moobs has got 'em on the RUN, that's why! Once he starts counter-rotating his tassels in perfect synchronization, they panic and run. Never fails. That's how we got off Omaha Beach."
"They're like Gatling Guns, them boys!"
By the way, the film is based on a novel by Norman Spinrad, who also co-authored the script.
No one know$ why.
This is actually a chilling story. Spinrad wrote the script, which was widely praised in its early incarnation, but the director insisted on revision after revision, and after things went tits up around Draft 14, Spinrad went back to his beloved Draft 3 and novelized it. Believe me, I understand the impulse...
So you're saying it was really going to be Piranhas 3D?
Now you're going to make me think about Christopher Lambert being skeletonized by carnivorous fish, screaming in that weird Swiss accent of his as the water boils with savagery and blood and I really wish you hadn't, Carl, because that's the kind of fantasy a guy could just kick back and spend all day on, and I've got errands to run.
I will insist on partial writing credit for the "There can be only BONE!" line as screamed by the lead piranha, voiced by Don Knotts.
I went to Google Translate and entered "Vercingétorix" into the Ancient Gallic to English dictionary.
After blowing Galoise smoke in my face and calling me "stoopeet Americain," it spit out the following translation
"He who is ees doomed to be played bah Christopher Lambear, you stoopeet Americain!"
Wow. There are curses, and then there are CURSES. I can only assume his mother must have insulted Maria Ouspenskaya.
Thanks, Cheryl. And here’s a tiny paper umbrella for your lemonade glass.