Ah yes, the '80s (or was it the '70s), when suddenly everyone decided to eat healthy. Ice milk instead of ice cream, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter instead of actual butter, granola instead of Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs, yogurt instead of milk, low fat this, low fat that, low fat fucking everything. Which it turns out wasn't really healthy for you after all. It was really all about allowing as little enjoyment as possible when eating. Fucking Calvinists.
Big Dip Ice Milk... oh, dear Lord. Instant PTSD! I think ice milk was directly responsible for the backlash of high-fat premium ice creams starting with Haagen-Dazs in the Eighties. Hundreds of thousands of ice cream lovers all shrieking "We're not gonna take it... ANYMORE!!"
( Here's a quick confession, I initially dictated that as " Funny Scott, stuff" -old age just rapidly overtaking my perception. And the gummies, well, they help with a lot of things but maybe not that. )
Anyway, genuinely funny and well
written ! I've been hoping for a change in fortune so I can subscribe. I'm due to get my first social security check this month and one of the first things I've been meaning to do..... When I get my check....
My social security check. The one I paid into since I was 16......
Ice Milk....so breastfeeding at my mom.
Your mother is a snow woman?
We're Finns, so...
Plus, she was a witch.
How many years of therapy did it take for you to be able to face this trauma?
This IS the therapy.
How is it going so far?
Oh this is just the beginning...
(that sounded like a threat. I didn't mean it to)
Mwa-ha-ha! :)
Ah yes, the '80s (or was it the '70s), when suddenly everyone decided to eat healthy. Ice milk instead of ice cream, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter instead of actual butter, granola instead of Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs, yogurt instead of milk, low fat this, low fat that, low fat fucking everything. Which it turns out wasn't really healthy for you after all. It was really all about allowing as little enjoyment as possible when eating. Fucking Calvinists.
I remember a woman in my neighborhood ages ago, who claimed you could make a delicious chocolate cake with mayonnaise in it. Never did try it.
Big Dip Ice Milk... oh, dear Lord. Instant PTSD! I think ice milk was directly responsible for the backlash of high-fat premium ice creams starting with Haagen-Dazs in the Eighties. Hundreds of thousands of ice cream lovers all shrieking "We're not gonna take it... ANYMORE!!"
Wow. I think you may be right! I mean, Big Dip absolutely radicalized ME!
Funny stuff, Scott!
( Here's a quick confession, I initially dictated that as " Funny Scott, stuff" -old age just rapidly overtaking my perception. And the gummies, well, they help with a lot of things but maybe not that. )
Anyway, genuinely funny and well
written ! I've been hoping for a change in fortune so I can subscribe. I'm due to get my first social security check this month and one of the first things I've been meaning to do..... When I get my check....
My social security check. The one I paid into since I was 16......
Goddammit.
Sorry man.
Anyway, nice work!
::shaking fist at heavens:: Damn you, Muuuuuusk!