Punkin' Donuts

Or: Prunes Are a Man's Prerogative

Well, I guess we better get into it, because the longer I stare at that thing, the more the stark black-and-white imagery begins to feel like a Weegee photograph of a grisly crime scene. And I’m not completely ready to rule that interpretation out. Still, at least this one’s short, and—thanks to the donut—sweet.

Here’s a crisp, fresh salad that will cause any “meat and potatoes” man to change his mind.

And what does this crisp, fresh salad cause a man to change his mind about? Let's read on...

Stew 4 prunes for each person. Pit the prunes and stuff with cottage cheese.

So I'm guessing that any "meat and potatoes" men who were considering self-harm will look at this recipe and decide to dispense with half-measures and just skip straight to jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Place two donuts on a lettuce leaf, fill the donut centers with cottage cheese and then top each donut with a stuffed prune.

And thus the Krispy Kreme empire fell, when the Germanic leader Odoacer showed up at the gates of Rome in drag, and bearing this refreshing summer dish while pretending to be a lady from the Welcome Wagon.

Place two whole pitted prunes beside the donuts.

Because as long as you're going to commit a felony, you might as well compound it. Anyway, at least we can rest assured that this thing can't get any worse.

Serve with mayonnaise.

I stand corrected.