And now I really want to see Christopher Walken as The Singing Nun. You know he could do it. The man can do anything. He could probably even have made Red Planet watchable.
Anyone saying “Christopher Walken can do anything” has never seen the movie adaptation of Whitley Strieber’s “Communion,” aka “Deliverance: The Next Generation.” (Film critics were very carefully kept away from advance screenings of “Communion,” so I went to see it on opening weekend. The audience was giggling through the whole movie, but when we got to the scene involving Whitley’s famous anal probe, someone in the back of the theater yelled “Squeal like a pig, boy! SQUEEEEE!”, and we never recovered. I myself found myself stuck in the cinemuck on the theater floor, twitching because I couldn’t laugh any harder.)
What’s even better was that it was turning into an audience participation midnight show by the end of October 1989, and Strieber sued to keep that from happening. I think that’s because the only thing extraterrestrial visitors have to say to him is “EXTERMINATE! EXTRRMINATE!” (And for real irony, one of Walken’s costars in “Communion” is Andreas Katsulas, better known five years later for playing Ambassador G’Kar of the Narn Regime in “Babylon 5.” Coincidence? I think not.)
Solidarity. I was noted for arguing that “Jurassic Park” could be immeasurably improved by dubbing over the tyrannosaur’s roars with Dennis Hopper’s dialogue from “Blue Velvet,” and when the second one came out in 1997, coworkers who already knew of my interests in paleontology paid for me to see it on opening weekend. Suffice to say that I was so disgusted that I had to get back into line for the 25th anniversary rerelease of “Pink Flamingos” in the hopes that watching Divine eat dog shit on camera might get the taste out of my mouth. However, the one high point in “The Lost World” came with the mama tyrannosaur drinking out of a swimming pool to “Heinecken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!”
The problem was that as much as Chris Walken can do, he was horribly miscast. Only one actor alive looks like Whitley Strieber, and Rick Moranis was busy at the time with “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.”
Thank your for reviewing these red-headed twins. You deserve to be honored for your bravery and frightful turns of phrase. I now anticipate more than a few nightmares about Fantasia mushrooms with a taste for blood.
Was this the one with the astronaut spinning around until his body flies apart in a bloody mess? 'Cause that was cool, and the only thing I remember from some yadda, yadda, Mars, yadda, movie.
And now I really want to see Christopher Walken as The Singing Nun. You know he could do it. The man can do anything. He could probably even have made Red Planet watchable.
Anyone saying “Christopher Walken can do anything” has never seen the movie adaptation of Whitley Strieber’s “Communion,” aka “Deliverance: The Next Generation.” (Film critics were very carefully kept away from advance screenings of “Communion,” so I went to see it on opening weekend. The audience was giggling through the whole movie, but when we got to the scene involving Whitley’s famous anal probe, someone in the back of the theater yelled “Squeal like a pig, boy! SQUEEEEE!”, and we never recovered. I myself found myself stuck in the cinemuck on the theater floor, twitching because I couldn’t laugh any harder.)
Now, for the first time in my life, I'm actually tempted to watch COMMUNION. Damn you, Paul...!
What’s even better was that it was turning into an audience participation midnight show by the end of October 1989, and Strieber sued to keep that from happening. I think that’s because the only thing extraterrestrial visitors have to say to him is “EXTERMINATE! EXTRRMINATE!” (And for real irony, one of Walken’s costars in “Communion” is Andreas Katsulas, better known five years later for playing Ambassador G’Kar of the Narn Regime in “Babylon 5.” Coincidence? I think not.)
That might have been my son, or even me. We’re famous for our side talking and the amount of cold stares we receive is epic.
Solidarity. I was noted for arguing that “Jurassic Park” could be immeasurably improved by dubbing over the tyrannosaur’s roars with Dennis Hopper’s dialogue from “Blue Velvet,” and when the second one came out in 1997, coworkers who already knew of my interests in paleontology paid for me to see it on opening weekend. Suffice to say that I was so disgusted that I had to get back into line for the 25th anniversary rerelease of “Pink Flamingos” in the hopes that watching Divine eat dog shit on camera might get the taste out of my mouth. However, the one high point in “The Lost World” came with the mama tyrannosaur drinking out of a swimming pool to “Heinecken? Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!”
Mommy! Roar! Mommy! 🤣😂🤣
I just watched the trailer. “This is no good, I can’t do this!” Too late, Christopher.
The problem was that as much as Chris Walken can do, he was horribly miscast. Only one actor alive looks like Whitley Strieber, and Rick Moranis was busy at the time with “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.”
<<letting her painfully erect nipples carry the plot for awhile>>
Now hang on! There's actual sound science behind this phenomenon!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-14596981/what-happens-botox-filler-breast-implants-space-katy-perry.html
<<AMEE, a larger, meaner version of the Aibo>>
OK, OK, hear me out on this: A reboot of Ol' Yeller with AMEE and V.I.N.C.E.N.T.! HAH!? HAH???!! A goldmine, I tells ya! A goldmine!
We can toss in the old Russian rocket at the end for the international market.
As long as there’s a happy ending and they all die.
But I *like* dogs!
Even THIS dog???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGacg1zuB00&list=PLf4MPUCIeUsjwHXs20mC-M5V06dMKAVaK&index=1
Yer a cruel man, Clevenger.
Yeah, but unlike MAGA, I'm not cruel for its own sake. This is the Nick Lowe Method in action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS5nd9YOv3Q
Thank your for reviewing these red-headed twins. You deserve to be honored for your bravery and frightful turns of phrase. I now anticipate more than a few nightmares about Fantasia mushrooms with a taste for blood.
"frightful turns of phrase" needs to go on my tombstone. Somebody make a note.
*rifles thru Scott's walltet*
I don't see any notes in here, just bills.
Oh, MAKE a note! Oops.
Christopher Walken as the Singing Nun.
It’s already working into my mind like a splinter; as long as he gets to dance. I’m sure that would be in the contract.
Great review. I appreciate your sense of humor 👍👍
Thanks very much!
I like that “Movie Twins” theory. Does that explain “Mallrats” and its eighth-rate copy “Free Enterprise”? (Oh, I’m going to hell for that one.)
Was this the one with the astronaut spinning around until his body flies apart in a bloody mess? 'Cause that was cool, and the only thing I remember from some yadda, yadda, Mars, yadda, movie.
Yep. There was a *bit* of cool in this movie, but sadly, the overall cool-to-yadda ratio was way off.
It was better than Gary Sinise walking into a planetarium, I tell you what.
And with fewer bloated corpses!