I know that you can make lemonade out of lemons, but it doesn’t read as if you had much to work with here- like a plot, or anything that even remotely made sense.
I’m giving you a purple heart for taking a bullet for us. Nice try.
<<Bev stumbles toward an actual alligator, which is clearly supposed to react and startle her, but it just lays there. So—and you can all but hear the director yell from off-camera, “Kick it! Kick it!”—she nudges the thing with her bare foot, and it obligingly writhes around. Its jaws are clearly wired shut, but still…if the dictionary definition of “trouper” doesn’t read “See Garland, Beverly,” me and Merriam-Webster are gonna throw down.>>
<<In this case he has a gator spreadeagled on a table and elaborately bound with leather straps, making it look like Christian Grey’s “Red Room”, if it went the extra mile and featured—along with the usual whips, dripping wax, and paddles—an alligator farm.>>
Oh, I remember those alligator farms in Hollywood! All the starlets riding Submissive Alligators all around the farm!
Wonderful! My favorite bits are "Dr. Feelgood and Dr. Feelup" and Beverly Johnson irradiating her nether regions by sitting on a box of Cobalt-60. Good grief. (Per Google Images, Cobalt-60 samples are bluntly labeled "Drop & Run.")
Huh???
What the fuck?
I know that you can make lemonade out of lemons, but it doesn’t read as if you had much to work with here- like a plot, or anything that even remotely made sense.
I’m giving you a purple heart for taking a bullet for us. Nice try.
<<Bev stumbles toward an actual alligator, which is clearly supposed to react and startle her, but it just lays there. So—and you can all but hear the director yell from off-camera, “Kick it! Kick it!”—she nudges the thing with her bare foot, and it obligingly writhes around. Its jaws are clearly wired shut, but still…if the dictionary definition of “trouper” doesn’t read “See Garland, Beverly,” me and Merriam-Webster are gonna throw down.>>
AMEN!
<<In this case he has a gator spreadeagled on a table and elaborately bound with leather straps, making it look like Christian Grey’s “Red Room”, if it went the extra mile and featured—along with the usual whips, dripping wax, and paddles—an alligator farm.>>
Oh, I remember those alligator farms in Hollywood! All the starlets riding Submissive Alligators all around the farm!
<<her vulva becomes huge, green, and incredible>>
*(insert stock chlamydia joke here)*
Unfortunately, the chlamydia joke is out of stock and on back order, but we have some lovely HPV japes in the impulse aisle.
Well, then leave the boilerplate insert.
Maybe we can make tea when it boils.
<<Lon Chaney, Jr. shows up sporting a straw hat, hook hand, and cirrhosis of the liver. >>
WAS HE WALKING WITH THE QUEEN, DAMMIT???????????????
Wonderful! My favorite bits are "Dr. Feelgood and Dr. Feelup" and Beverly Johnson irradiating her nether regions by sitting on a box of Cobalt-60. Good grief. (Per Google Images, Cobalt-60 samples are bluntly labeled "Drop & Run.")
That sounds like good, solid medical advice, but I guess Bev's junk prefers to do its own research.
There was that famous incident on Joy Of Painting when Bob Ross mistook Cobalt 60 for Cobalt Blue and lost his afro for an entire season.